Aduhai

"Lagging"-nya blog ini. =.=

I was anticipating some more posts to come while I'm gone on vacation, and it's still dead up to today. T.T What has come to this world?


Well, we can't blame anyone, cos we're all at peace, for now.

- Throws egg bomb at piglet. -

Curfew =.=

I'm back from a unpredecented (whatever that means) curfew from the computer.

Rage against the internet!

I don't know where to start... Everything's changed since I got back from my world of internet-less hell. Somebody help me. =(

And so I realised, the forewords to this blog are actually quoted from me. =D

Anyways, about the reason of my curfew... It's all suspense before I actually reveal the reason why I have been dead for the past week.

It's only been a week, and I feel so dreaded already. Sweat.

Invitation.

Hmm, now the Potato (me), was officially welcome to put few craps here too.

Thanks to Piglet. =.=

I've nothing much to say other than to be part in here.. what am i saying? =.=!!

Piglet just had to shrink me in order to be as tall as her rather than to feed me to be as chubby as her.. how nice of her..

Its so mean for Piglet not adding Gorilla in being part of this writings.. Hmph!

Till then, have a safe trip to the Earthquake country Piglet! And soon for Plankton. :D

Imbalance

unrelated note: I miss writing my posts like this. Sob. Ever since that Chemistry ordeal. Sob.

Today, the fourth of December year 2000 and 8, marks another important day in the history of ecosystems. Yes. The piglet unraveled another exhilarating discovery through her dazzling breakthroughs.

At 1.24 pm, she fell to her demise upon realisation that the Gorilla, the Potato and the Plankton ACTUALLY like Twilight. What is becoming of this cruel cruel world? (Disclaimer: I do not abhor Twilight. I just can't stand mushy stuff.)

Also, she came to realisation at 5.37 pm that... (Another disclaimer: Thanks loads Elaine!)


The ecosystem is uber-imbalanced in characteristics of size. Yes. The Plankton's supposed to be smaller, the Piglet's shorter than the Potato and the Gorilla's just fine. The Piglet happens to be just fine too! (Adeline and Roland grow shorter lah!!)

-does the picture perfect gesture and shakes head-

Something's wrong. Really really wrong.

Yours untruly,
Piglet the Exoneration Master (or Mastress. No such word though. Sob.)

Reply: Sesat-ed

The piglet is so gonna get it from me, once I can differentiate her being a piglet from a pig of course.

There shouldn't be any difference in their gluttony should it?

Sesat-ed

The plankton is soooo lost. He can't differentiate between a piglet and a pig.

(points and laughs)

More Random: Rich Kids

Now this is more random than the predecessor post regarding my hair. =.=

The Piglet is RICH. Totally. She just doesn't want to admit it, even though her car speaks it all. xD She says she has limits, but who needs limits when you are going to get a rich hubby and kill him for all his wealth?

Ah, apart from that, the Piglet is a subtle, sissy killer. If she is ever going to play a first person shooter, she'd be sniper and boringly crouch at one spot all day just to get a miserable one or two kills, whereas the Plankton goes around killing himself in return for quadruple the killing results.

Well try call her 'chicken'. She'd just reply: "No it's not chicken. It's piglet." Bleh.

Of course, this does not apply to her when she's playing Hitman, I mean, Hitgirl. I'm supposedly her next strangle victim with her sickly, pitiful brown ribbon. Although, I chose to be murdered with a red ribbon. Oh well.

Apparently, she tried to play a bit more aggressive with a bunch of crappy arsenal, but as usual, we all know piglets are stuck to the same sissy ribbons and useless equipment. And the Plankton shall dominate with his assault rifles, painful airguns, detachable cube pieces, paintguns and sewer rats!

Whatever the score is for Piglet and me, it does not matter. There's never an end to our rampage.


PS: Plankton is emo, so watch out. xD

Random: To Kill or Not To Kill

Recently, the piglet was deciding on treating the Plankton to a great haircut. Indeed, it would be unique, for how many people actually have landscapes for a haircut? The Plankton however, decided to make a rainforest out of the piglet's hair and then attack it with dandruff. He however, forgot that natural preservations have anti-dandruff properties.

So it's a draw.

The piglet then proceeded to the idea of crash-landing the plankton in a hospital bed, and then poisoning his drips. It was all really simple. All she had to do was to get the plankton a new cube for his birthday, with poison. The blame was all to be put on the plankton, really, for he wrecked his own cube!!

Does that mean score one for the piglet?

The piglet also found out that the REAL plankton's full name was Sheldon J. Plankton. In conjuction with that, I present to you Roland 'Sheldon' Teo.

Also, the plankton was thought to be pretty idiotic to side the crooks when the good guys get all the awesome gadgets. I told you his name was Sheldon!

Signing off,
Piglet aka the Exoneration Genius

Hacked

Now, someone has just hacked the hell of Ah Ma's account, and changed her password. Plankton decides to help (the pineapple tart he sooooo wants dead), and little can the little menace do.

Now, there is the danger of totally horrible posts here, because of the hacker.

And I'm not too sure myself how to delete Cassandra off the authors list, and put the new account in for her. Aaargh.

Why must the world be so evil?!

Why must the plankton be so keen to take over Bikini Bottom in the first place? =.=

Surreal

Not-so-recently, I had to do creative writing for English class. So the Potato and I paired up. But that's a different story we write altogether.

We were given the starting and were required to continue it.

Today, all the pictures we drew in art class came to life. I drew an airplane and it flew around the room. Then I drew a ____ and it…

And later that afternoon, the I wrote another one. :D

(This was actually supposed to be published ages ago but I wasn't online)

Then I drew a plankton and it was so small you can put it in your palm and make keychains out of it. Then I drew a piglet and I drew it HUGE. In that picture, the piglet was trampling over the plankton. And they were surreal! WOW!

But the Plankton, who was rather vengeful about it, took an eraser and erased the Piglet's foot!

"Hey! That wasn't fair!" yelled the Piglet between sighs of excruciating pain. (Sheesh)
"Look who's talking," muttered the Plankton joyously, having disabled the Piglet.

In the midst of the Plankton basking in his ever-glory, he got it over his head and didn't watch where he was going. Unintendedly, he tripped over a pebble (HAHA PEBBLE!) and the pencil rolled off his hands and stopped right next to the Piglet.
Muttering profanities under his breath, he was unaware of that.

Happily, the Piglet drew a fish, which in turn tried to eat up the Plankton. Dear ol' Plankton was running for his life.

But then I didn't want the story to end so abruptly, so I erased the fish. I could've sworn that Piglet was glaring at me! But then I decided to play fair. I gave Piglet and Plankton both a pencil each.

Plankton, being Plankton, and Piglet, being Piglet, they both drew themselves to a maximum size. I freaked out when they shot through my roof! Then I decided to be a sport and I watched them both. The Plankton then drew a huge eraser and erased the Piglet's legs and hands off! Which he then drew a thousand other phytoplanktons to chain up the fishes and zooplanktons.Then, they were to erect a statue of the Plankton!

"ALL HAIL PLANKTON!" they exclaimed. The Piglet went nuts. For the nobler cause, the Piglet picked the pencil up using her mouth and drew herself an artist to redraw him! Whom, she erased after that.

Oh my was the Piglet furious. The Piglet deliberately drew an eraser to leviathan, which she then used to erase the spastic statue! The Plankton, unaware of was was going on, was busy planning his next move. Then the Piglet drew a huge fork and forked the Plankton. She then lowered him into an oven of brimstone and fire. The Plankton, aghast was screaming in horror.

"Merry Christmas!" the Piglet exclaimed, exhilarated.

BUT THEN I didn't want to see what would happen next, so I took the eraser and erase everything. Only to find all my drawings in that piece of paper. DARN MY IMAGINATION IS SURREAL.

Signing off,

=(

This blog is dying. Where are you Lau Ah Ma?! =(

Zooplankton Battle

I'm no longer a phytoplankton, for as much as I know, phytoplankton are plants. Zooplankton eat 'em, so here I am, the herbivorous (yea right) war machine.

I'm hear to proudly state that the war between me and the Granny aka Piglet is not a first priority, but a second.

I hear loads of boo's out there.

Here is my reason. First of all, Mrs. B**** is driving me nuts. The world of Mr. Plankton's band is crashing before his very eyes. I know in his illustrations, the plankton has only one. But, I have four, I am defected, so beat that.

I believe that as a band major, I have no other choice but to fight for my friends' rights, no matter how much they call it favouritism. It is not. It is called justice.

I do not want another year like 2007 OR 2008 to happen again. The years that brought up so much critique to our drill show, our quality control, and worse still, the band's teachers and instructors.

The instructors are not at fault. But I believe, Mrs. B**** is.

Everyone is ruined.

Now is up to the board members of Plankton's regime to save the band.

And so, I hereby declare that the Granny is safe from my sewer rats and 95-series machine guns, for now.

CSO for the world,

Rather-pissed-off.

Cacatedart.com

Chemistry class and a diagnostic test. -runs far far away stark raving mad due to boredom-

Anyway, Adeline and Lysandra got bored and they decided to 'deform' me. SOB.

Presenting....

A cacatedart.com production.

A three in one. Fairylike, god grandmother and pirate piglet. I sound like an Osim massage chair. O.o

Oh no, I ain't telling anyone my full name!!

Plus a wand and a HOOK!??? O.o

IF LOOKS CAN KILL, THAT CAN CERTAINLY CAN.

PLUS, MADE IN CHINA!!! SOB.

Let's not forget, credentials.


CONCLUSION: I AM SPEECHLESS.

Zzz

The Piglet is obviously too busy with her telly.

The Potato, conflicts and battles unseen, unheard.

The Gorilla? Busy drawing Pengies, training his shots with the Plankton on Crazy Shooter Online (C.S.O.).

As for the plankton, I guess, he/it is too obsessed with Jawi, as a form of code in his messages to call for back up.

One thing is for sure - the Piglet tries to wave at the Plankton, but all the Plankton does is mutter "Lau Ah Ma" under his lips, if he has any.

And now, I feel so bad for not waving back, or at least pointing an air gun at her.

PS: Click on the links. You know you want to.

Hot Gossip

Ah, this is such a sexist world. It's not the guys abusing the girls, but the girls demoralising the guys! (And now, that IS a sexist remark.) And another sexist remark - Some girls are just sooooo... Grr.

Disclaimer: I have just used the word "SOME", for your info.

And so, the Plankton, with its continual research program for new ballistic missiles and nanobombs (in his dreams) found something rather intriguing, but a bit out of topic - the reason why guys live, in the world of a certain someone.

Well, the answer is merely easy - extortion, wealth, glamour, and a nice grave for her hubby once the bills are signed, and the transfer of funds complete.

Disclaimer: Don't perasan. It is not good for you.

Plankton's current quote: "I really kesian your future hubby."

The Piglet: "Over my dead body!"

First of all, dentistry is a very great job. Well, because you get to hear people screaming in pain, and you get money out of drilling holes into their teeth! Or maybe add some pressure there by screwing the bolts and nuts into their braces, real tight. And now that is what you call sadistic.

Ah, but you can never get enough money, especially if you are like this someone. Oops.

And so, this someone's hubby shall be, and MUST be, rich, and by all means will the money belong to her. (It would have been so much better if that guy were to be an idiot.)

Wealth and glamour comes easy then. These are the times when guys aren't really so bad at all (Sexist!), considering that this someone will attempt homicide on her hubby for his riches, or if not hoping that he dies early. Choi. Now, that is not sadistic, that is what I call smart and idealistic (in the black market)!

All the conspiracies and lies, and the mistreatment to guys (like me). The Plankton has given a premonition to all, that the Piglet will soon find her eternal (Well, not eternally, but for a few years perhaps?) life partner, and gain the riches from his dead body.

Over my dead body,
The plasmolysed plankton.

PS: Preparing for a counterattack. Where the heck is my sewer rat?!

In response

Anyway, in response to Caricatures, I shall improvise for the sake of betterment!

BEFORE

AFTER

Once upon a time, there was a kid nicknamed Plankton who was troubled by the notion of a plankton in a PINK bathrobe answering the phone. So distraught, he sought to improvise by doodling away during History class. He then later drew a rather crappy pig as an insinuation to one of his friends, the Piglet, who back then stayed away from the internet due to other involvements such as her profound love, the television and the such.

Following day, one of the Piglet's honchos told her about it. It was Physics class and the Piglet was busy not paying attention helping the Jagung make decisions on colours and doing additional mathematics. So in the beginning, the Piglet merely registered, but simply replied with a vague 'okay'. (which is indeed a colloquial)

Upon hearing the 100 pigs part, she whacked her face down on her additional mathematics textbook gobsmacked, completely disregarding the fact that she was wearing her glasses at the time. Only to realize that the whole class heard the WHACK, all heads turned to the back plus the teacher and glasses almost squashed into her face.

OUCH + HUMILIATION= NOT GOOD

The End =)

Signing off,
Oinkers ^oo^

Caricatures

From Scherzando Comrade:

History is just another bore.

I have had many things to do in class before - holding parliamentary meetings, doing my reports, fooling around, slapping Canaris' ass (whom deserves every bit of pain he gets) plus a bit of torture to my test pad.

Today just felt like the right day to do a fun-raising activity. Mind you, it's fun-raising without the 'D' behind the fun.

First of all, I thought Biohazardly Bellicose, the blog on the wars between me and my circle of friends needed a makeover. After all, the picture of the plankton in a towel answering the phone has been haunting me for many weeks. And the piglet was just a bit too cheery.

It's still smiling! =.=

Kelvin's quote: What's with you and pigs? o.O

Next up, the penguin, although we do not have a penguin at war (at the very moment). I was just wasting time for two periods anyway.

It sure looks cute (and simple) to me, but I guess Kelvin needed a total makeover - a rock star penguin, with a more 'sophisticated' look.

Yup, that penguin works for Slipknot, System of a Down, and Happy Feet too.

Well, he gave himself a rather fuzzy look to compliment the sophistication of the philosophically intricate penguin he drew. Behold, the hairy gorilla:

He needs a shave, just like... erm, never mind. xD

As for me, I had troubles drawing the one-eyed plankton, until Raphael showed me the way. And I thought he only knew how to draw David Cook. =.=

It's cute! It's adorable! It's... me. =.=

Well, I had to live up to my standards of being a Teh O seller, so I guess I got the hang of drawing only one eye (and a horribly oval body), with a bit of extra touch.

Nobody ever said planktons were cute!

PS: My test pad is officially non-halal. It has at least 100 pig drawings, and a bit of obscenity too.

Lukhman! Hahaha!

An update

So the Piglet decidedly put the Potato out of the war, but however, she indirectly intervened with her Sudoku madness!!
It was simple, really.
The Piglet brought her 200 Sudoku book, and the Potato actually whacked eight pages in one go!!
HELP!!!

And now, to increase the magnitude of the situation, the Potato and Plankton actually pillow whacked her!!!

WAH!!!! 2 AGAINST 1!! That isn't fair!!

Moving on, today's weather: Expects showers. (mutters: of LED dental guns over the Plankton's house)

So incidentally, there hasn't been a war this week to blog about.

All that's certain is, the next time the Piglet has to walk over to *horror gasp* the primary school, she'll make sure its raining and bring a bigger umbrella.
Simply meaning, there'll be more special effects.

Scene:
Plankton: LAU AH MA!!!
Piglet: (opens wet umbrella upon him)

HOHO, genius. Man, I should've done that the other day. SIGH.

Recap

Oh yes, the Piglet will not be around to blog for a while, so I am just stealing a chance to maybe get her pissed when she gets back. Welcome back to Biohazardly Bellicose grandma! And here's all to you!

And so, I was officially named the Plankton, and her the Grandma. Well, I used to be a noisy lil kid but too bad that didn't really last, so didn't the grandma. You see, she has an obsession of minimising me bit by bit by the day. First a lil kid, now a plankton. How much more magnification would she need to just describe my humble size?

And so, the war between the grandma and plankton started, soon changed to the battle between the pig(let) and the plankton. I left to KL, and promised her an electric drill when she came back. She never needed it. She aspires to be a dentist, and sees no problem of spending a sum on that for her own homicidal adventures.

Plus, the piglet hired a huge umbrella to poke me down every time I do my duty after school near the primary school gate. And the plankton does his best at shouting: "Lau Ah Ma!"

The plankton is not unarmed, however. He wears a horrible Kevlar suit (that stupid prefect blazer of mine), plus a few more weapons in handy in his inside pockets. Still searching for that sewer rat though.

Just recently, a craze over Command and Conquer Generals - Zero Hour. The plankton has taken the pilot's seat and is now zooming across Malaysia as the USA Air Force General, which some people really disagree too. Some prefer the plankton to go back to his aquatic habitat for defense against the almighty piglet (who lives in, well, mud), but nevertheless nothing stops the plankton from bringing the mighty mother of all bombs, a huge airforce comprising of King Raptors and Aurora Bombers, Stealth Fighters and loads and loads of Stealth Comanches.

The no-longer-aspiring pilot, the piglet, who now wants to be a dentist, will have to face her own dreams in the war for ultimate supremacy.

The piglet has still one more weapon in mind - her harsh words. She tears the ectoplasm out of the plankton with every sarcastic remark, and also a bit of her bombastic language that grant her so much peace among the 'ah bengs' and 'ah lians'. Pity them, but you've got to pity the plankton more.

However, the piglet's sulking that the plankton actually beat her in EST. Now she's really gonna beat me, I mean, drill me up.

The plankton may have to use his last weapon, the piccolo, as his last resort against the supreme linguistic forces of the piglet. Still, he has only a 70% hit rate for the extremely hurting high notes.

Just a recap. And a great time to go into hiding.


Yours, a fugitive,
Teh O Plankton.

PS: Oh yes, the plankton is now officially called Teh O too.

A Movie?

Plankton won't be able to update since he's marching his legs off for today.

Anyway, as afore mentioned, that... movie.

As ERRONEOUSLY REGARDED by the Plankton as an ingenius plan to make him date a girl by means of handcuffing and landing in hospital, I digress. I'd say it's more of a plan to make end his life, either way or that. But concludingly, I went epic because I'm such a good friend, hoho, and made it into a movie.

"Yeah Plankton, let's go to Candy Mountain."
"Yeah, let's go to Candy Mountain. It'll be an exciting adventure."

So anyway, due to how emo the Plankton can get at times, I do apologize for the mushiness I have to resort to in certain parts of this post. I really do. Don't pop your eyes out reading. (I'm already EWWing around)

Anyway, some of the scenes are rather typical. (Aren't they all?)

Bear in mind that my intention is to make the Plankton live happily and ending his life abruptly after that. :D
I'm such a good friend.

I shall label his 'darling-whoever-she-is-in-the-future' as *ahem ahem*.

Alright forget about the mushiness. I'll just get this EWW post over with and cut to the chase. Well actually, I'd inserted background music so if you listen to it you'll have a better picture.

MOVIE 1

(Hans Zimmer's Tennessee in C major plays throughout the whole movie)


Now now, be patient and wait for it to load :D :D :D
Plankton and *ahem ahem* were taking a stroll down to the movies one day, then they were caught in the rain.

Lovingly, he gave her his jacket. Then they played in the rain.


Following day, they caught pneumonia.
Needless to say, one goes from bad to worse(*ahem ahem*) the other goes from bad to better(Plankton).

*ahem ahem* then died slowly in his arms.

Nurse: Doctor, I think you should call it now.
Doctor: *ahem ahem*, died at -inserts time-.
Plankton: -cries his heart out-

Conclusion: The Plankton committed suicide.

THE END.

:D

"You just love getting me dead in your movies don't you? AAARGHHH!" -Plankton

PLANKTON, I SECOND THAT.

P.S. I will never ever write love stories nor direct one when I grow up. -pukes-

Till the fat lady sings;
The Piglet

He's going to nuke me for this post. AIK.

Prologue

I hate having to write a prologue to everything. It's extremely boring, but still it's always best to introduce your 'products' to the outside world, if you ever want some attention. And maybe someone who can actually make sense out of all this.

And so the Piglet gave me the authorisation to be a part of the crap in this blog, as it is dedicated to the Plankton-Piglet war. I could have had link one, link two, link three, and link one million to that, but I believe everything will be said in here, nice and clear.

That rhymes, but I'm not going to be a lyricist, for this moment.

I don't know what drove the Piglet to get a Gorilla and a Potato involved, as this was meant to be an one-on-one affair. Well, affair is a very bad word to use in this era of globalisation (Stupid phrase from any typical BM essay), so let's say an one-to-one battle. It's just a fun debate over the superiority of a humble plankton *cough* and a rather meticulous grandma, I mean, piglet.

I don't like adjectives, but this is going to be a bit messy.

Biohazardly Bellicose, to you.

Signing off,
The Plankton.